


Fifty-One

by danceswithgary



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-13
Updated: 2009-04-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 01:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not good enough gets a second chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fifty-One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Variations on a Theme of John Sheppard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064) by [kisahawklin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin). 



> This Vegas tag is based on another Vegas tag by kisahawklin with her kind permission. Reading her [Variations on a Theme of John Sheppard](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12064) is recommended or a few references may not make sense.

[  
Click For Full Size](http://pics.livejournal.com/danceswithgary/pic/000sfae6)

_red jack on black queen._

Unable to ignore the knocking any longer, Sheppard shoved his chair back and shambled over to the door. He rubbed his lower back as he fumbled at the lock, the grinding ache more than a hint that he'd been sitting in one place for too long. Not bothering to check the peephole first, he swung the door wide, propping one shoulder against the jamb as he drawled, "Dr. Rodney McKay. What a surprise."

"Detective." Not waiting for an invitation, his uninvited visitor pushed his way inside. He waited until Sheppard allowed the door to slam shut and watched him slump back into the only chair in the dimly lit room before he spoke again, his words carved in icy precision. "The Lucky Rollers Motel? You couldn't find anyplace better to stay in than a crime scene?"

_black seven on red eight_

Not willing to grant McKay the courtesy of eye contact, Sheppard continued the game in progress, transferring half of a stack of cards to the next column over. He let the question lie on the table for a few more seconds before he shrugged and flipped a card over from the dwindling stock. "My only _asset_ was impounded. I don't carry the badge anymore, but I still managed to get the room at a discount. Hell, he even washed the sheets for me."

_two of spades up_

He could see McKay out of the corner of his eye, hands thrust in his pockets, the lines of his pristine suit barely rumpled by the bad habit. "Lighter fluid and a match would have been a better cleaning method." The sneer in his voice was predictable, and Sheppard bit his lower lip to keep a grin in check as he tallied a mental score. "Of course, if you hadn't walked out of the hospital in the middle of the night, it might have been a different story." One hand made an escape and waved a concession. "Although, I suppose that's partly my fault for bringing you the clothes from the trunk of your car. You might not have made it as far in a hospital gown."

_black eight through three on red nine_

Steadying the wobbly pressboard desk after shifting a stack of cards a little too firmly, Sheppard erased the score, deciding McKay's entertainment value wasn't worth the overall aggravation. He shook his head and grated out, "Listen, McKay. Say whatever it is you came out here for..." Stonewalled in the layout, he rubbed the back of his neck and then flipped over another card from the stock he was holding. "...and then leave."

"Hmmm. Why do I get the feeling that I'd just be wasting my time talking since you've obviously already made up your mind?" McKay's voice scraped against nerves stretched thin after the third straight night of insomnia, and Sheppard eyed the empty bottle of ibuprofen occupying the corner of the desk with regret.

_ace of diamonds up_

"You came to me, not the other way around." Clicking his tongue in mild frustration at the exposed cards in the layout, Sheppard flipped the last card from the stock onto the talon. "The other McKay had the right idea...keep looking for a cleaner copy. Why settle for second-best?"

_two of clubs up_

Taking a few steps further into Sheppard's line of sight, McKay folded his arms and snapped, "We need to get you back in for another brain scan. They obviously missed something in the last one because I'm pretty sure you weren't this stupid the first time we talked."

_three of spades up_

Sheppard had overheard similar observations on his lack of intelligence more than once during his hospital stay. McKay had been there, waiting for Sheppard to surface from the latest dose of nirvana, muttering in mathematical notation, impatient fingers tapping staccato counterpoint on the tablet that was never far away. He turned his head just far enough to smirk in amusement at McKay's rigid stance. "Hey, too much effort required for this version? There's the door."

_four of spades up_

"Jesus, you're a pain in the ass, Sheppard." McKay's upper lip thinned and pulled back to expose teeth that clipped his words short in unconcealed disdain. "He didn't leave because you weren't good enough. He took off because he didn't want to settle for being a second-class me working at the SGC. After all, _I_ was here first."

_seven upstairs house wins again_

Sheppard shook his head and swept his hands across the desk, wincing at the pull when he stretched out with his left arm to grab a card that had slid too close to the edge. The cards collected and faced, he leaned back carefully in the unpadded chair and began to shuffle, hoping McKay would take the hint.

After a moment, McKay asked quietly, "Have you had anyone take a look at that in the last couple of days?"

Not bothering to glance in McKay's direction, Sheppard shrugged away his concern and began to deal out the cards in seven columns.

"I suppose I didn't really need to ask, since you haven't been more than a few hundred yards from this location in the last three days, " McKay huffed, his annoyance at being snubbed bleeding through.

_ace of diamonds up_

Remembering a dark night and a duffel filled with cash, Sheppard wasn't surprised. "That's right...you had my car lo-jacked," he rasped. "Funny thing is...it happens to be sitting in the impound lot on the other side of the city."

_red six on black seven_

"We were tracking _you_ this time."

Enraged at the implications of McKay's flat statement, Sheppard slammed the stock down on the table and twisted in the chair to glare at him. "The fuck?"

McKay's face gave away nothing at Sheppard's reaction. "Subcutaneous transponder. Standard issue for anyone on the SGC teams. It's come in handy more than once. Despite my objections...and a lack of informed consent...they placed yours in a non-standard location. You'll never be able to remove it yourself."

Rising to his feet slowly, Sheppard advanced on McKay, clenching his fists at his sides as he growled, "I don't happen to be _on_ one of your damn teams, McKay!"

McKay held his ground, tipping his chin a few centimeters higher to meet Sheppard's furious gaze. The downward slant of his mouth increased as he acknowledged Sheppard's complaint. "Yet."

Swallowing down a sudden inclination for violence, Sheppard detoured toward the window, drawing back the dusty curtain to point outside. "Forget it, McKay. Why don't you just climb back into your big black SUV and caravan the hell out of..." Blinking his gritty eyes in the bright slant of sunrise, he cocked his head in puzzlement at the absence of the expected vehicles. He glanced back at McKay to ask, "Don't you guys usually travel in packs of three?"

"As I mentioned before, your government and I don't always see eye-to-eye when it comes to certain _policies_. I'm flying under the radar...so to speak." Pulling a small device resembling a car remote from his pocket, McKay tossed it to Sheppard. "One click and you're off the grid as long as you stay within twenty feet of it." A leather band emerged from the same pocket, and McKay handed it over with a thin smile. "It'll attach to this. I recommend strapping it around your ankle so you don't accidentally wander too far away." Pivoting in place, he walked a few steps toward the door before turning back to examine Sheppard with narrowed eyes, announcing, "I also thought it might interest you to know that your friend Mikey has been paid off and, as far as the LVPD is concerned, you're officially on sick leave for another week. Clean slate."

Sheppard examined the device and then looked up, frowning at McKay as he tried to understand what had just happened. "Why?"

McKay's lips thinned in irritation, his tone making it clear he felt insulted that Sheppard hadn't immediately grasped the obvious. "Because I happen to believe you should be allowed to choose whether or not you're going to work for us, not forced into it by circumstance."

Leaning against the wall next to the window, Sheppard's drawl dripped with sarcasm as he reminded McKay why he'd felt the need to spell it out. "Really. As I recall, the first time we met, you warned me that if I didn't cooperate, you had the power to ruin my life." Sliding the device onto the leather band, he tossed it on the desk before continuing. "I think you knew that threat had no legs, so you changed your strategy. You left the back door open to let me run for a while, so it'd hit a little harder when I was yanked back inside."

Sheppard straightened, his voice deeper, rougher. "You were never worried about losing me...because I've been on your damn leash all along." He shook his head in disgust. "Fuck you, McKay." He returned to his seat, flopping back in the chair with a grimace and a hitch in his breath, and then rearranged a few cards that had gone askew.

_red five on black six_

McKay offered no rebuttal, his silent presence a distraction that Sheppard found impossible to ignore, unable to keep his attention focused on the cards. Volume barely above a mumble, he gave in and voiced a few of the thoughts that had been plaguing him for days. "You know, funny thing about those drugs they give you for the pain...the stuff that comes back to you at random moments." Tilting his head, he smiled as he caught McKay twitching at the disclosure.

_Red king in the space_

Twisting in his chair, Sheppard faced McKay, mildly interested in watching his responses. "From what I overheard, while I was supposed to be _unconscious_, the other McKay was playing the percentages, gambling on whether or not he'd find the right Sheppard to stay with in a four-day window...and that he wasn't going to leave the right one behind by mistake. In your case, you only have one chance at a Sheppard, and you're trying to stack the odds in your favor."

Thrusting his hands back in his pockets, McKay shrugged, one eyebrow rising in annoyance at the thinly-veiled accusation. "It's not as if you've never gambled, Sheppard."

Sheppard granted the point with a nod before turning back to the cards, using them as a convenient form of camouflage. "Pretty long odds to bet the rest of his life on...and yours."

_black six on red seven_

"Apparently, he believes whatever version of John Sheppard he finally decides to stay with will be worth it." McKay shifted to look out the window, exposing his back to Sheppard. "I think you wanted to believe that, too. After all, you offered to sleep with him in order to keep him here."

_two of diamonds up_

It took a few seconds for Sheppard to decide whether or not to laugh at McKay's observation. He went with amusement as he flipped a card onto the talon. "I was under the influence."

McKay shrugged. "_In vino veritas._"

_ace of clubs up_

"_He_ seemed pretty convinced I was too straight for him," Sheppard pointed out flippantly.

_two of clubs up_

"_He_ made quite a few invalid assumptions about both of us. What he neglected to factor in was the fallout from my sixth grade science project. After the CIA showed up on my parents' doorstep and made it very clear my life would never be considered private, I learned to how to protect myself, how to listen to more than words. He was keeping something back right from the beginning, something more than the fact that his ship hadn't been destroyed. That last day, the straight card was played a little too hard and fast, and that was enough to send me searching."

_red seven on black eight_

McKay turned around, but he didn't look directly at Sheppard. Instead, his focus was internal as he reported the result of his investigation. "It took some creative digging, but I found out the reason behind that flight of yours wasn't the field medic after all. You just let everyone assume she was. The real story was the pilot she was working on out there...a Captain Holland, I think it was...who lived for another six very long, very painful months on the government's dime."

Sheppard surged to his feet, knocking the desk back into the wall, his normal raspy drawl raised to a shout as he closed in on McKay. "You son of a bitch. If you try to...."

McKay raised his hands in a placating gesture and took a step backwards, his voice surprisingly calm in the face of Sheppard's sudden fury. "Take it easy, Sheppard. His good name and his widow's pension isn't in any danger from me. That wasn't an attempt at blackmailing you into coming back with me. I was just pointing out that I have certain facts at my disposal that my doppelganger didn't...like the existence of a very large anonymous check sent to the captain's wife shortly after your savings account in DC was closed."

"You're pretty damn sure you know everything about me, aren't you?" Sheppard backed away to sit down heavily, scrubbing a hand across his face. Weariness slurred his words, altered his self-deprecating laugh into a hollow, grating sound. "Then again, compared to what I know about you...."

McKay frowned, lowering his hands slowly. "Yes, well, I...." He approached carefully, picking the device up from the edge of the desk and holding it out to Sheppard. "Don't lose this. I don't keep a lot of extras around."

As Sheppard accepted it with a puzzled look, he noticed the gold band was missing from McKay's left hand. He raised an eyebrow and grinned crookedly when he looked up at McKay. "Guess he convinced you to go with Keller after all."

McKay shook his head in disagreement. "No, although Gina and I did finally reach an agreement and signed the papers yesterday." He stared down at his left hand and flexed his fingers a few times, as if he were still getting accustomed to the change. His voice was quiet as he admitted, "Jennifer...it was never anything more than casual, and I...." After a moment, he looked back up, his face composed, his voice low and earnest. "Listen. I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating. We're not the bad guys. We're just trying to keep the planet safe, and I think you'd be good at that. Actually, I happen to _know_ you would be, but it's up to you to decide."

His anger washed away by exhaustion, Sheppard folded his arms and disagreed with McKay in a low rasp. "I keep telling you that I'm no damn hero, McKay."

"There's a bullet hole two inches away from your heart that says otherwise," McKay huffed in rebuttal. Stepping back, he bent and picked something up from the grimy carpet under the desk. The card he rescued rated a mocking smile. "Thought these were supposed to be kept up your sleeve, not thrown on the floor." He reached out and placed it on the foundation, in the space Sheppard hadn't been able to fill all night long. "You'll never win without this."

Sheppard picked up the ace of hearts without a word, then dropped it in the center of the ruined layout with a shrug.

McKay's laugh was bitter as he turned and began to walk toward the door. "A little too cliche, isn't it?" Reaching into his pocket for his car keys, he pulled out a pack of gum and twisted to toss it on the desk where it landed just short of the ace. "For you. I happen to prefer cinnamon, myself."

The door closed behind him with a click instead of a goodbye. Sheppard picked up the gum and snapped a piece free and slipped it into his mouth before scraping the cards together for a re-deal. After a moment, he tilted his head, listening, then smiled as he chewed, his hands moving on autopilot laying out the new hand. With the seven stacks of cards aligned, he stood and stretched lazily, dropping the stock in the middle of the layout, the cards spilling haphazardly across the desk. Scratching the stubble on his chin as he surveyed the dingy room, he grabbed his jacket, scooped the remote off the table, and walked out the door.

Outside, the temperature had risen as fast as the sun, and he took his sunglasses out of his jacket and slid them on to protect eyes that had spent too many days in the dark. Ambling over to the silver Mercedes idling a few feet away, he climbed inside without a word.

Wasting no time on small talk, McKay nodded toward the door of the motel room, the one that Sheppard had left half-open. "Forget something?"

Sheppard crossed his arms and relaxed into the leather seat, settling his head against the back and closing his eyes. With a smile just short of a grin, he drawled in a raspy aside, "Nah, I got nothing."

 

~^~fin~^~

**Author's Note:**

> _I keep hearing you're concerned about my happiness.  
> All that thought you're giving me is conscience, I guess.  
> If I were walking in your shoes, I wouldn't worry none.  
> While you and your friends are worrying 'bout me, I'm having lots of fun._
> 
> Counting flowers on the wall, that don't bother me at all.  
> Playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one.  
> Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.  
> Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do...
> 
> **Countin' Flowers On The Wall by Eric Heatherly **


End file.
